Need a bit of self-love and self-care? Are you feeling frazzled by the world you live in and that everyone just seems to put you down, even yourself? It’s time to STOP, breathe, give yourself some space and change your thoughts. Here are 10 tips on how to love yourself more and to get the love you need from the place it really matters – yourself!
Why self-love matters
Self-love is the foundation of a fulfilling and joyful life. When we truly love ourselves, we cultivate inner peace, confidence, and resilience. It allows us to set healthy boundaries, make empowered choices, and attract positive experiences and it really is the basis of our whole being. Without self-love, we often seek validation, love and approval from others, struggle with self-doubt, and feel disconnected from our true selves. This can lead us to try going against who we truly are in an attempt to gain some recognition or approval from other people. This is a lost cause as we can never replace self-love with love from others. It can be a substitute sometimes, but in the end, what we really crave is to understand and love ourselves. Once we do this, everything else becomes possible.
Loving yourself is not selfish; it is essential. When you nurture self-love, you radiate that energy into the world, creating a ripple effect that benefits you, and many people around you.
Self-love as a connection to Source energy
At its deepest level, self-love is a connection to Source energy – the divine, the universe, God r whatever name you have for the universal Creator. When we honour and love ourselves, we align with our true essence, recognising that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. We are all fractals of God and understanding this connection brings a sense of peace and belonging, reminding us that we are already whole. We do not need fixing, we are enough just as we are. Get that?
YOU ARE ENOUGH, JUST AS YOU ARE!
When we embrace self-love, we allow ourselves to flow with life rather than resist it, trusting that we are supported by the universe.
Common obstacles to self-love
Many people struggle with self-love due to societal conditioning, past experiences, and limiting beliefs. We are often taught to prioritise everyone else’s needs over and above our own. We are taught we should make our parents happy, please our teachers and conform to this expectation or that expectation, even if it makes us miserable.
Trying to please others above ourselves only leads to failure – there will always be some way in which we are not good enough if this is our mindset. And if we do ever practise self-love or self-care, we tend to feel guilty for putting ourselves first for once. This starts a process of negative self-talk and trying to fulfil unrealistic expectations which can also erode our self-worth.
Recognising these obstacles is the first step towards overcoming them. By challenging our inner critic and releasing the need for external validation, we can begin to cultivate a deep and unconditional love for ourselves.
Practical, free ways to practise self-love
Self-love does not require expensive retreats or luxurious spa days although these can be very nice. There are many simple, free ways to nurture yourself daily and we’ve listed our top 10 tips on how to love yourself more, here:
1. Speak kindly to yourself – Replace self-criticism with words of encouragement and compassion. Instead of saying, “I’m not good enough,” try, “I am learning and growing every day.” Or instead of, “What if something goes wrong?” ask, “What if everything goes well?” Speak to yourself as you would a dear friend and offer yourself some encouragement.
2. Set boundaries with other people – Honour your time and energy by saying ‘no’ when necessary. If a situation drains you or does not align with your values, give yourself permission to walk away without guilt. See our post on “How to say no and still feel good about it.”
3. Spend time in nature – Connect with the natural world to feel grounded and at peace. Take a mindful walk, listen to birdsong, or simply sit outside and breathe deeply, appreciating the present moment. Quietening your ‘monkey mind’ and the chatter it produces is one of the best ways to connect to your Higher Self and Source energy, which exudes love, forgiveness and acceptance.
4. Practice gratitude – Focus on what you appreciate about yourself and your life. Each day, write down three things you are grateful for. It could be a personal strength, a kind interaction, or a beautiful sunrise. Read more about gratitude and the Law of Attraction here.
5. Meditate or reflect – Spend quiet moments in self-connection, whether through meditation, journaling, or simply sitting in stillness. Try deep breathing exercises or guided meditations to help cultivate inner peace.
6. Move your body – Engage in any form of movement that brings you joy. Whether it is stretching, dancing, yoga, team sports or walking. Physical movement releases tension and fosters a positive connection with your body. Yoga is great for your body and your mind so find a class do join an online class to get started.
7. Forgive yourself – Release past mistakes and embrace the lessons they have brought. Remind yourself that you are human, and growth comes from learning rather than self-punishment. You could even perform a small ritual to let go of the hurt by writing it down on a piece of paper. Then, either burn it (safely) or rip it up. It’s amazing how cathartic this practice is.
8. Follow your bliss – Do things that make your heart happy, whether creating art, listening to music, reading, dancing, swimming, gardening or simply allowing yourself to rest without feeling guilty. Don’t let anyone else influence you or tell you what makes you happy – only YOU truly know that. Life is meant to be joyous. You are meant to do the things that make you happy, and in doing that, you can inspire others to live their own best lives too.
9. Engage in positive self-reflection – Take time to acknowledge your progress and achievements, no matter how small. Reflect on your strengths and how you have grown over time. Write a journal so that you can look back and see how far you’ve come. And remember, you don’t need to strive for perfection – that can be very unhelpful. The way forward is to strive for incremental progress. Read our article on “Stop trying to be perfect – focus on improving” for more information and tips.
10. Surround yourself with positivity – Seek out uplifting content, inspiring books, or supportive people who encourage your self-love journey. If needed, detox from social media or any influences that trigger self-doubt; turn off the TV and give yourself a day where you choose only positive inputs into your world.
If you can’t find something in the 10 tips above, read our article on 20 self-care practices anyone can do. You’re sure to find something there!
A final word: YOU are worthy of love
You are inherently worthy of love – not because of what you achieve or how others see you, but simply because you exist. That is the promise of the universe and it is who you really are – a perfect being having a human experience for the benefit of expanding universal consciousness. We just forget that sometimes and then we struggle.
Self-love is the basis of your understanding of love, but every step you take towards embracing yourself is a step towards greater joy and fulfilment. Honour who YOU are, connect with YOUR true essence, and allow love to flow freely within YOU.
When you love yourself, you open the door to a life of peace, purpose, and alignment with Source energy, and there is no higher purpose or bliss than that.
Namaste! Gail.
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Your article on self-love offers valuable insights into nurturing one’s well-being. I like the practical tips provided as they are both accessible and can make a difference.
I particularly like the emphasis on self-compassion and setting boundaries, as these are often overlooked aspects of personal growth and everyone needs to do this at some point.
Incorporating real-life examples or personal anecdotes could further enhance the relatability of these suggestions. How do you recommend individuals maintain a consistent self-love practice amidst daily challenges and societal pressures?
Hello Esquiwal. Thanks for your comment. I’m glad that you found the article interesting and the practical suggestions useful. I have used many of these suggestions myself and still do many of them daily.
To answer your question, I would suggest that people start small and build up. No one is going to go from self-loathing to self-love overnight but small steps, practised consistently can make all the difference. I would look to trying to find some time for yourself, doing things that you enjoy, and then look at tackling the negative self-talk. You can then work through the other suggestions as and when they feel right. It’s a bit like a snowball rolling downhill; once it gets some momentum, it becomes unstoppable. All the best, Gail.
I completely resonate with the idea of how essential it is to love yourself, and I’ve experienced it firsthand. There was a time in my life when I was constantly seeking validation from others, always trying to make everyone happy, but it left me feeling empty and disconnected from my own needs. One day, I realized I was burning out, trying to be everything to everyone. That’s when I truly understood the importance of setting boundaries, as mentioned in tip #2. It was hard at first, but learning to say no without guilt allowed me to focus on my well-being and stop draining myself for others.
In addition to these wonderful tips, another way I learned to love myself was by celebrating small wins. In the past, I’d only give myself credit for big accomplishments, but I started acknowledging the little things, like making it through a challenging day or completing a task I had been procrastinating on. By shifting my focus from perfection to progress, I started to build a deeper appreciation for myself. What’s been key for me is understanding that loving yourself isn’t about perfection—it’s about being gentle with yourself through all of life’s ups and downs. Embracing your growth journey, no matter how small the steps may seem, is such a beautiful way to truly honor who you are. Thank you for this powerful reminder!
Hello Charles. Thank you so much for taking the time to read the post and to share your own story. I appreciate that very much. My story is very much like yours; trying to please others and to live up to their standards, even if they weren’t living up to them themselves! One day, I just realised how ridiculous it all was and that I was the one who had the power to stop banging my head against the brick wall (metaphorically of course) and walk away. Once I did that, I drew all my power back to me and never looked back.
I like the idea of celebrating small wins too. These are so important along the way and can keep you motivated and focused on the next small goal. After all, a big goal is only achievable through a series of smaller goals.
Thanks again for your insights and I hope you will visit the site again soon. I think you’d like the post on how to stop trying to be perfect which you’ll find at: https://thecreativechoice.org/….
All the best, Gail.
Beautifully put Gail! I’ve wrote notes then burnt them – In the garden at half 5 in the morning. Stood on the grass barefooted to connect better with nature, while meditating to the sound of nothing. Written down 3 things I’m grateful for and started the day by writing down “The 1 thing I can get excited about today is ___”. That’s that day’s goal. When my mood’s right down in the gutter though, the best thing is to get outdoors and move… a woodland walk, or a stroll down by the river, just focusing on the sound of the stream. In my opinion, self-care is easiest done by disconnecting from technology to connect with nature. Would you agree self-love/self-respect is a sanity saver?
Hi Robert. Thanks so much for your lovely, kind comments and for sharing your own experiences here. I love your list of things that you do to reconnect and I do all of these myself. I often sit in my garden, even in winter, wrapped in a blanket, looking up at the stars. I find is helps to ground me and I can realise my place in the universe – not a small, insignificant space, but an amazing, multi-dimentional one with infinite potential… that’s always a great feeling!
I totally agree that self-love and self-respect are a sanity savers. I believe that we are made of love and our Higher Selves understand it. Personally, I have always felt homesick here on Earth, for a place that I know exists beyond this physical realm, and I try to connect to it as often as I can and in whatever way I can. Looking at the stars does it for me, as do mediation and yoga.. oh, and gardening! I have no idea what I’m doing and would not consider myself and accomplished gardener, but I love it and I feel good about it, so that ‘s good enough for me!
All the best, Robert. Namaste.
Gail